Tuesday, April 5, 2011

TV theme tunes: don't mess with the best

The revamped Archers theme tune for Radio 4 Extra's Ambridge Extra may annoy the show's fans. But are there any scores where the tinkering has worked?

Not much is sacred when it comes to television. You can replace actors whenever the mood calls, or continue to call your show Taggart even though the bloke who played Taggart died 17 years ago, and people won't kick up too much of a fuss. But start mucking around with theme tunes and you risk unleashing hell.

This is something that Radio 4 Extra would do well to bear in mind. This morning saw the debut of Ambridge Extra, a weird new Xtra Factor-style show created to accompany The Archers. Its theme tune is the same one that The Archers always had ? Barwick Green by Arthur Wood ? but this version has been arranged and recorded by contemporary folk band Bellowhead. As a result, there's a very real chance that casual listeners will hear Ambridge Extra and assume it's a bizarre new version of The Archers that takes place during a French-themed booze-up on Captain Pugwash's pirate ship.

But it could be worse. At least Bellowhead's version is still identifiably the theme tune to The Archers, and it's not like they've made it go dubstep or anything. Also, don't forget that this isn't the main Archers theme tune we're talking about, merely a 15-minute spin-off programme that airs on one of the BBC's lesser digital stations. But just in case any other TV or radio producers feel like following Radio 4's lead by commissioning a replacement to a beloved theme tune, let's just pray they follow the golden rules.

Rule one: Don't just add a few dancey drum beats

This is usually the domain of BBC Sports, a department compelled to destroy all of its classic theme tunes by intermittently jazzing them up with the latest Bontempi drumbeat preset. Snooker fans will be able to remember the anguish they felt when their beloved signature tune ? Drag Racer by The Doug Wood Band ? was given a Fatboy Slim-style mauling and renamed 147 Lockdown almost a decade ago. Worse still is the treatment doled out to the A Question Of Sport theme tune. In the last 20 years, it's been abused with synthy handclaps, insipid drum and bass, awful electric guitar lift muzak and faux-profound orchestralisms. Just be thankful Grandstand isn't still on air. It'd probably sound like N-Dubz by now.

Rule two: Don't introduce a new theme tune for no reason

Think Grange Hill and, regardless of how old you are, you immediately think of Chicken Man by Alan Hawkshaw. That's because it's a timeless, iconic piece of music; its loping gait and elastic bass manages to perfectly capture the essence of what it's like to be at school, especially when accompanied by a cartoon of a flying sausage. What you don't think of, however, is the theme tune that replaced Chicken Man in 1990, because it sounds like it should be soundtracking an instructional health and safety video for a regional firm of double glazing installers. If you do think of this version of the Grange Hill theme tune, it's safe to assume that you're already dead to me.

Rule three: Treat the original with respect

The first Doctor Who theme tune was a triumph of technology and willpower. Delia Derbyshire of the BBC Radiophonic Workshop managed to ingeniously wrestle it into existence by laboriously manipulating a tape recording of a test tone oscillator until she was finally able to realise Ron Gainer's score. The theme tune has been updated several times since then, often by allowing the Radiophonic Workshop to play with gigantic analogue synthesizers until it was closed down in 1998. Murray Gold has been in charge of the show's theme since its resurrection in 2005 and, while he hasn't come close to replicating the otherworldy hum of the original, at least he's managed to retain its spirit of adventure.


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Source: http://www.guardian.co.uk/tv-and-radio/tvandradioblog/2011/apr/05/tv-theme-tunes

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