I don't care about Kate Middleton's 'lack of class'. Some of my best friends are commoners
If you share a great-greatgrandfather or great-great-grandmother with someone, you're third cousins, right? Do you know your third cousins? Does anyone? And would you invite them to your wedding? I know I wouldn't, because I wouldn't know who to invite. And if someone was making a documentary about one of my third cousins, I probably wouldn't go on it to talk about them, on the grounds that I might not have anything very insightful to say.
Meet the Middletons (Channel 4) doesn't suffer from the same reservations. A whole bunch of Kate's (very) "extended family" turns out to say nothing of any interest at all, except Kate's great-aunt Alice, who says that Kate is too good for the royal family. That's nice. But most of these so-called Middletons aren't even Middletons at all, as they come from Kate's mum Carole's side of the family. Yes, Carole the "commoner" and former flight attendant. And Kate's class, or lack of it, is what drives this documentary. It's a bit sneery.
So in the home of Joyce, Jean and Brian ? who, by my (admittedly limited) understanding of genealogy, are actually Kate's first cousins twice removed ? the camera strays and focuses on the kitsch china figurines, tacky framed pictures of dogs etc. Michael, who might even be a first cousin only once removed, is filmed in front of a pile of cardboard boxes in the storeroom of the supermarket he manages in Wales. And in County Durham, where someone else lives, we're mainly interested in the boarded-up houses, children riding tyreless bicycles and the slag heaps. Look at these plebs, that's the message. Look what Our Wills is marrying into.
Because, says the film, we are a "society obsessed by class". Are we though? Still? I can only really speak from personal experience, but I can honestly say I don't give a stuff about class any more, hardly even notice it. I mean my own girlfriend is as common as muck, and I find it quite endearing. It amuses my family too ? the way she holds her knife and fork and says "toilet". And these days there are very few social occasions I can't actually take her to.
Sarah Beeny is less open-minded and modern than I am. "Most would accept that cohabitating with vermin is rather less than ideal," she says, doing her walking-to-camera thing that shows she means business. Well, I don't know Sarah, it's not so bad, if you lower your expectat . . . Oh I see, she means literally ? bedbugs, rats etc, because this is Help! My House is Infested (Channel 4). Isn't that a bit of a tumble, Sarah, from property to pests? All part of these difficult economic times probably.
Here's a man who had to deal with a dead rat, this woman's got a few moth holes in her cardie, these kids got bitten. Scariest of all from Sarah is "bedbugs can crawl 4ft a minute!" Well, you know what, I reckon I could outcrawl one. It's hard to take that seriously, as a national crisis.
Also, I'm not sure about some of the language going on here. It's "time to protect ourselves and drive these invaders out", "many feel they're utterly drowning in the problem", "the epidemic that is sweeping the nation", "together we will fight back". It just all sounds a bit BNP.
I think a TV thriller deserves a little leeway from reality, in the spirit of drama and imagination. But The Reckoning (ITV) takes that leeway, and then some more, and then more still, until it's totally taking the pee-way. Nice Ashley Jensen gets talked into doing a murder. Oh go on. Oh go on then. Well, the guy she's going to kill isn't very pleasant, so that will make it easier. Plus, it will mean her daughter can get some much-needed private treatment for her cancer. OK, that's settled, bring him on . . .
But it's more complicated. It looks like by agreeing she's getting involved in something bigger. She's now a pawn in someone else's game of chess-murder. And pawns tend to get taken, especially if they've just taken something themselves.
Hmmm. A foot ? a toe even ? in the real world and I would have wanted to come back for part two. But I'm sorry, this is just too bonkers.
Source: http://www.guardian.co.uk/tv-and-radio/2011/apr/18/meet-the-middletons-tv-review
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