Broadcasters are throwing royal wedding shows around like confetti. Here's five more they should have made
How many royal wedding television shows is too many? It's a trick question. You can't have too many television shows about the royal wedding. That's why this week alone you're going to be bombarded with programmes combing through every last detail of William and Kate's impending nuptials and making full use of colons in their titles. Shows such as Kate And William: A Royal Love Story, Royal Wedding Access All Areas: Blue Peter Special, William And Kate: The Story So Far, When Kate Met William: A Tale Of Two Lives, Kate And William: Romance And The Royals, William And Kate: In Their Own Words, When Royals Wed (presented by Larry Lamb and Lesley Garrett), Giles & Sue's Royal Wedding, and, inevitably, My Big Fat Royal Gypsy Wedding.
But this still isn't enough. There are so many other potential royal wedding shows just crying out to be made, and there's still time to make them. In fact, if any enterprising producers are reading, they can have these five pitches on me.
Kate Middleton: What Does She Actually Sound Like?
A documentary following a group of Kate Middleton's friends and family members ? along with leading historians and speech recognition experts ? as they try to work out if any of them have ever heard her speak out loud before. Eventually they realise that, yes, they probably have but they just can't put their finger on what her voice sounded like. The show will conclude with everyone making a low, vague, listless droning noise that they think might be quite close to how she might sound.
The Other William And Kates
A Channel Four documentary about other people called William and Kate who are getting married this year. To mesh in with Channel Four's current factual output, though, all the William and Kates have to be really poor and live in a house made of shoeboxes, the narrator has to sound a bit sarcastic, and circus music has to play in the background all the time just to make them look a bit more stupid.
When Royal Weddings Go Bad
A 999-style eyewitness reconstruction show about all the crazy mishaps that have happened during previous royal weddings. However, because royal weddings are stately and choreographed, hardly any crazy mishaps ever take place. Therefore everything in this show is imagined and acted out with puppets. In episode one, Christopher Biggins recalls the incident where the Archbishop of Canterbury's hair caught fire during Princess Margaret's wedding to Antony Armstrong-Jones, Gina Yashere describes the moment when a dog pulled Prince Edward's pants off during his wedding to Sophie Rhys-Jones, and Stuart Maconie reminisces about the time he saw Prince Charles get killed and eaten by a giant spider on the steps of St Paul's.
Kate Middleton: Hen Night LIVE
A special one-off programme following our future queen as she celebrates her last night of freedom with her closest friends, broadcast live as it happens from the Reading branch of Yates's Wine Lodge. Which of her friends will burst into tears first? Has anyone bought her a stripper? Will Kate pull rank when, upon leaving the pub at 2am, she realises that the kebab van is all out of cheeseburgers? Tune in and find out.
The Greatest Moments From Shows About William & Kate's Wedding Ever
On the eve of the wedding of the century, we take a look back at some of the most memorable moments from the television shows about the wedding of the century. Remember that montage of childhood photos set to Coldplay that ushered in the third commercial break of When Kate Met William: A Tale Of Two Lives? Or David Starkey's breathtaking opening monologue in Kate And William: Romance And The Royals? Or the time Larry Lamb's hair got blown into a funny shape during the second episode of When Royals Wed? All these moments and more will be counted down, from 1,000 to one, in order, by Davina McCall, forever.
So what other brilliant royal wedding TV show ideas did we miss? Pitch your ideas below, please.
Source: http://www.guardian.co.uk/tv-and-radio/tvandradioblog/2011/apr/25/royal-wedding-william-kate
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