Desperate Scousewives leaves you feeling just that bit grubbier for having guiltily enjoyed it
'We're loud and we're proud," said Jodie, a kaleidoscope of bottle-blonde and bottle-orange. "And Liverpool is looking gorgeous." That last sentence is more debatable. Welcome to Desperate Scousewives (E4) the show that hopes to do for Liverpool what The Only Way is Essex, Geordie Shore and Made in Chelsea did for Essex, Newcastle and SW3, by making it a place any sane person would choose to avoid.
Unless it suddenly develops into hardcore porn or a snuff movie in later episodes ? something even Channel 4 might think twice about ? Desperate Scousewives sticks firmly to the tried- and-tested "structured reality show" format. Assemble a group of not-very-bright exhibitionists and tell them you are going to make them stars: encourage them to drink, shop and have sex. A lot. And film everything with a hint of soft-focus for maximum airhead effect.
We kicked off with Layla lounging around in her designer lingerie, moaning that Joe was treating her like a one-night stand. Actually, she was rather less than that; Joe thoughtfully pointed out she was a "2 o'clock job" ? meaning she'd been the only woman left willing to shag him at that time the previous night ? before kicking her out on to the street. Oddly this piece of gallantry only seemed to make Layla more keen.
Over the course of the day, two sisters with matching boob jobs lay around in bed together clearly hoping they too would get the chance to be loved by Joe (for some reason all the women in Liverpool find him irresistible), while local celeb Amanda ? no me, neither ? went shopping with her doppelg�nger, Chloe, in curlers. "People are always so quick to judge me and say I'm shallow," Amanda moaned. "They don't know how difficult my life is as a single mother." To be fair, none of us really knew how difficult Amanda's life as a single mother was, because Amanda was not seen spending a single moment with her baby.
Elsewhere, Jodie managed to get a job in Chris and Mark's beauty salon that specialises in anal bleaching, while Joe, Danny and Adam posed bare-chested before going off to the pub to discuss their prerogative to get off with "fit birds". "If Layla couldn't speak, I'd marry her," said Joe philosophically. The highlight of the evening was the prestigious ? we'll have to take their word on that ? Style Awards at which Coleen Rooney was a winner. Not least, by having the sense not to turn up in person to collect her award.
And that was pretty much it. Predictable, vacuous and with a tongue in as many cheeks as possible, Desperate Scousewives is a show that leaves you feeling just that bit grubbier for having guiltily enjoyed it. Viewer catnip. The episode ended with Layla getting into a taxi with Joe. Presumably that made the time 2am. How time flies. Stand by for Yummy Brummies and Sexual Ealing.
Rather more sobering was The British Woman on Death Row (Channel 4), a film about Linda Carty, a British woman from St Kitts who is facing the death penalty in Texas for masterminding the abduction of a baby boy and the murder of his mother. With subject matter like this I'd expected to be gripped, but the documentary was annoyingly disjointed. It was as if the film couldn't decide if it was about a miscarriage of justice, the barbarity of capital punishment or a public petition, and ended up falling between all three stools.
Which was a shame as there was an important story to be told. Not so much about Carty's guilt or innocence ? it's almost impossible to give a considered verdict on partial evidence, though like Steve Humphries, the film-maker, I was inclined to believe her innocence ? as in the way she was let down by the US judicial system for her real crime: being poor and black. Almost everything that should have been done, from getting a proper defence attorney (hers was so incompetent he was nicknamed the state's undertaker) to informing the British authorities, wasn't done. If the US is going to insist on killing people, it could at least make sure it does so with the due process of law.
It seems Carty's last hope of getting her sentence overturned is if the British public gets behind her and gives the US a hard time. Let's hope not everyone was too busy watching Desperate Scousewives, or Carty doesn't have a prayer.
Source: http://www.guardian.co.uk/tv-and-radio/2011/nov/28/desperate-scousewives-tv-review
Japan Horse racing Credit cards Sunderland BBC2 Reckitt Benckiser
No comments:
Post a Comment