marylsommers: A peer earns �10,000 more than me

Problems at work? Need advice? Our agony uncle ? and readers ? have the answers

A colleague is earning �10,000 more than me for the same role

I work in recruitment and the role I do is much the same as that of my colleagues in a fairly small team. There is certainly no marked difference to suggest our respective salaries and benefits packages should be dissimilar.

However, I have recently become aware ? somewhat inadvertently ? that my colleague and peer earns a base salary of �10,000 more than me, as well as a bonus structure that appears favourable to my own and that of other colleagues.

During my time of employment with this company ? more than five years ? I have consistently met my commercial objectives and am currently the highest fee earner in the business. I have often been in the top half-dozen or so across the entire business.

From being fairly content with my salary and benefits, and assuming I was among the best rewarded because of my performance, I've become confused, disappointed and angry to discover this demotivating information.

In addition, I recently moved roles internally and was told I had to take a pay cut as my previous role didn't have commission attached to it and, as this one would, I would be too far ahead of other consultants which was deemed unfair. I now know this information was inaccurate.

In truth, I should probably not be aware of my colleague's salary. But the facts have come to my attention and now I am not sure how best to approach the matter. My annual review is due in the next three months. How should I tackle it? Or should I just be glad I have a job and keep my mouth shut?

Jeremy says

Try to imagine that you didn't know about all this. My guess is that you would be pretty content with your circumstances. You've been with the same company for five years; you're consistently successful; and your new arrangement allows you to earn commission on top of salary. As the highest fee earner within your business, this suggests that ? despite having to take a pay cut ? your overall earnings could well be up.

In other words, although you're feeling hard done by, you've got an awful lot to lose. And if you allow resentment ? that corrosive sense of injustice ? to go on eating away at you, you're in real danger of losing it. You already confess to feeling demotivated.

Next: just how certain are you of your facts? You say you've come by this information "inadvertently". People gossip and spread rumours about salaries and bonuses more than just about anything other than who's doing what with whom. It's not uncommon for people to exaggerate their own salaries; both to feed their reputation and instil envy in others.

If you base any complaint on unsubstantiated rumour, you'll be asking for even more trouble.

So unless your information is both solid and verifiable, my very strong advice is this: please don't let your suspicions, however well-founded, affect your state of mind and, above all, your performance. Your annual review is coming up. If, for the first time, you miss those targets ? or just fail to live up to your own high standards ? you'll have set yourself back on all counts, and quite unnecessarily.

At the review you have every right and opportunity to put your case for a rise. But if you base that case on a dodgy comparison ? and that means one that's easily batted aside ? you'll not only fail to get it but will also earn an unfortunate reputation.

Readers say

? If you raise this with your employers you'll have to be able to prove that you are really worth an extra �10k a year ? just because someone else is getting it isn't be enough. There may be valid reasons why your colleague gets �10k more; reasons which you simply aren't aware of.

You have a stable job with a fair wage. You're one of the lucky ones. PolishMark

? I have been working in recruitment for 13 years and have come across this situation time and again.

What your colleague has probably done is sold themselves really well when they were recruited, and your bosses were impressed enough to offer an inflated salary. Frustratingly for you ? and for them, I am sure ? it doesn't sound like your colleague is living up to their end of the deal.

I would be asking for a confidential chat with your boss, and letting them know that, having been made aware of this information, you are feeling demotivated. �10k is a lot! As a top biller, they won't want to lose you. Recruitment is a "if you don't ask, you don't get" type of industry ? now is the time to ask! Good luck. DivineAubergine

I want to work for a charity ? but all I've got is a job in a bar

I am 27 years old and graduated in 2010 with a 2:1 in English literature. I chose this because I wasn't sure what I wanted to do when I graduated ? all I knew was that I wanted to work in the third sector. After graduating I signed on and began my search. More than 200 job applications and 10 months later I got a job in a bar. I am still working there now ? minimum wage, part-time.

I have also just won custody of my son who will come to live with me in the next few months. My massive worry is that I will never get another job. I enjoy my work but I subsist on my wages. There is no way they will support me and my son.

I know I'm capable of better work and I am always trying to get better work, and spend nearly all my spare hours volunteering for two charities and organising fundraisers.

Most of my fellow graduates are in the same position ? earning less than they did before they went to university. Am I doing something wrong? I am hard working, intelligent (I think), and want to do some good in the world, as well as for me and for my son.

It can't be that my CV is that bad, or that my interview technique is that shocking (although I rarely get interviewed for work).

Jeremy says

I'm pretty certain you are doing something wrong. It's a common mistake ? and if you're a regular reader, you'll know that I've covered it more than once. I suspect you're being far too unfocused in your search for a job. You hope, that by expressing interest in hundreds of different jobs, you'll sooner or later strike lucky.

But the third sector is vast ? and incorporates all sorts of activities, skills, causes and enterprises. To appeal equally to them all, you can only present yourself in very general terms. Most potential employers will take general aptitudes for granted ? computer confidence, good with people, administrative experience, etc etc. What they'll be attracted to is someone with those specific skills, interests and experience that best match their own specific operation. So what are yours?

You give little away in your letter. But your degree in English literature might be a potential lead. What are your leisure time interests? What areas of life intrigue you so much that you'd almost pay to work in them? What are you best at? What can you get almost unreasonably enthusiastic about?

Write yourself a CV that simply couldn't be for anyone other than you. Let the real you shine through. Of course it won't appeal to everyone. But for those to whom it does appeal, it will be much the most interesting they've read. They'll want to meet you.

Readers say

? You'll need to forget about the third sector, if only for a while. One day, charities will be ready to hire again, so just make sure you're ready. In the meantime, find something you don't hate, that gives you time to spend with your son. Good luck! Friya

? Even when I was young in the 1970s having an English degree was not the hot route to a job. I would recommend that you don't apply for loads of positions, it will only demoralise you when the rejections mount up. Target those areas where you think you have the edge. Speakman

? There are plenty of agencies that specialise in charity fundraising. Call them, get on their books, do some temp or contract work. It's a way in and it's experience. Failing that, just get any office experience as a step in the right direction ? as a graduate whose sat in many a lecture I'm sure you'd make an excellent minute taker. That's how I got my first job out of uni! ladytaymount

? As well as/instead of a few hours of your volunteering, try to go along to some of the many free events (conferences, talks, workshops) that go on in the sector. It's a great way to meet people, get an up-to-date idea of what's going on and hear about what's coming up. Also, get on to email lists for the field you're interested in. Employers will often use these to advertise jobs they're in a hurry to fill. carmen19

For Jeremy Bullmore's advice on a work issue, send a brief email to dear.jeremy@guardian.co.uk. Please note that he is unable to answer questions of a legal nature or reply personally.

Read next week's problems on the Work blog from Monday and post your advice ? we'll run the best of it alongside Jeremy's in next Saturday's column.

Jeremy Bullmore