He played poor put-upon Antony in The Royle Family. Now Ralf Little is striking out on his own. He talks to Patrick Barkham about The Cafe, the new sitcom he has written ? despite being 'pathologically lazy'
Sitting in a respectable cafe in Soho, Ralf Little is distracted from explaining how he met Michelle Terry by the bloke at the next table pulling five Viagra pills out of his bag. "There's a drug deal going on next to us! That's fantastic! Stick the dictaphone over there, you might get a reward for dobbing them in," he whispers. He's thrilled because here, right before our eyes, is proof that a cafe can serve up drama as reliably as a cappuccino.
At the grand old age of 31, Little, best known as the put-upon teenager Antony in The Royle Family, has turned his hand to writing sitcoms, rather than simply performing in them. His debut series, scripted with fellow actor Terry, is set in a beachfront cafe in Weston-super-Mare and called, rather prosaically, The Cafe. A gentle comedy with lovely local detail and a whiff of Gavin and Stacey, it also stars Terry as Sarah, a failed writer who has returned home to her mother's ailing cafe; Little plays her friend Richard, a geek and secret guitar hero.
He and Terry became friends while performing 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover at the Bush theatre in London. He had never written anything before; he claims to be "pathologically lazy". Terry, on the other hand, is "incredibly conscientious". It's not unusual for actors to discuss their writing dreams, but this time the pair actually took their laptops into cafes together and started working. They did not set out to write the characters for themselves; it was only later that they decided Little would play Richard. When the cast did a first read-through, their stage directions declared that Richard was "absolutely amazing" on guitar. When this was read out "about 20 actors, cast and crew all looked up at me, and you could see they were all thinking, 'You wanker. What kind of tosser writes how good they are at something?'" The truth is, he says, he can fumble three notes. "I spent an hour afterwards going around saying, 'You do realise that I didn't know when I wrote it [that I would play Richard].' That was a bit embarrassing."
Mum puts a dampener on things
Terry is "the most modest person in the world", he adds. "Whereas me, I'm a bit more showy." I'm told by several mutual acquaintances that Little, well known as a decent celebrity footballer, can be a bit bumptious. Little admits he "had to have a word with myself" about shouting at fellow players in charity matches: "I was not very nice to play with." Does he worry about being perceived as arrogant? "I've had a very full life, not just a nice life," he says. "But you're arrogant when you think you have a God-given right to it, whereas I'm just appreciative." The only time he worries about coming across as arrogant in our interview is when he calls The Royle Family "one of the truly great British sitcoms". This, he explains, is his observation as a fan; he doesn't want to imply he contributed to its greatness. "I just happened to be the 17-year-old kid who auditioned and was dragged along with it, and it gave me a different life."
The Royle Family ended up playing a big part in The Cafe. Little was filming a Christmas special two years ago (there are plans for another, possibly next year) when he handed The Cafe script to Craig Cash, Caroline Aherne's co-writer. He waited four months before Cash rang him back. "He said," Little adopts Cash's thick Manchester accent, "'All right Ralfie, I've got a confession to make. I was just dead worried it would be shit and I wouldn't know how to let you down gently, but to my surprise, and probably yours, I think it's brilliant.'" Cash offered to direct and produce. "For him to turn up and say, 'I like this, I rate this,' probably changed everything," Little says.
He was inspired by Cash and Aherne's approach to The Royle Family; the pair were involved in every aspect of the show, from casting to costume design. "They were part of every decision. Writers generally don't get that," he says. Cash insisted Little and Terry were similarly hands-on. "Craig not only allowed us to, he expected it of us," says Little. "He's just the most humble, modest man you'll ever meet."
Other influences on The Cafe include The Office ("as close to perfect as you can make"), Gavin and Stacey, and Rob Brydon and Julia Davis's Human Remains. "They are all very different, but what they share is good writing. What we were trying to work out was what makes good writing, and that's what we tried to emulate," he says. What did he learn from appearing in six series of the mysteriously tenacious Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps? These days, he is more recognised in the street for this role than for Antony in The Royle Family. "Quite often people say, 'That is the best show ever.' And I'm thinking, really? Have you ever seen The Office? Reviewers didn't like it. But it was cleverer, actually, than people realised. It was absurd and silly and quite broad, and it takes a certain skill to make broadness work."
Mostly, though, Little and Terry were inspired by "our vaguely trying-to-be-helpful-but-slightly-bonkers mothers, and how funny they are". When they got the commission for The Cafe, Little rang his mum and received "a textbook response with lots of oh, fantastics". He rang off and then his mum called straight back. "She went, 'Make sure it's good. This is an opportunity so don't waste it.' I was like, 'Mum, you've left me 10 seconds to enjoy this moment before putting a dampener on it.'" He laughs. Actually, he says, his mother worked extremely hard to give her children a whole range of opportunities. The middle child of two accountants, Little had badminton and swimming on a Monday, football on a Tuesday, rugby on a Wednesday. Saturday afternoons were for drama, after his mum spotted an advert and booked him in. So he was ordered along? "I didn't get a choice, but it never occurred to me to want one," he says. His drama teacher set up an agency and he started getting small parts in children's dramas, in Heartbeat and Coronation Street. Juggling The Royle Family and A-levels, Little got a place to study medicine, but dropped out as the acting offers came in. All those childhood activities, he believes, gave him the confidence to try different things. "Again, not wanting to sound arrogant, I don't have innate life confidence, but because I've usually done most things, my natural assumption is I'm going to be good at something. And then I get really irritated if I'm not. Often, if you presuppose that you're going to be good at something, you will fulfil that prophesy."
'Ralf ? you mark Zidane'
This attitude explains the wide range of work he has undertaken over the last decade: theatre, voiceovers, an ebook (a novel in five instalments, with the proceeds going to Shelter), the internet drama KateModern, as well as cinema; he played New Order's Peter Hook in Michael Winterbottom's 24 Hour Party People and Chas Hodges in Telstar: the Joe Meek Story. "I've been two of the best British bassists of all time," he says joyfully. Then there's the football. Little gave up a semi-pro career because an injury would have jeopardised his acting, but still plays in numerous charity matches. "There was a moment in Soccer Aid last year when Jamie Redknapp said to me, 'Ralf, you mark Zidane, I'll get Figo." I said, 'Yeah, all right, I've got him.' As if I had: he's Zinedine Zidane!" He recently played alongside Roy Keane, and "everybody I've ever shouted at [on the pitch] texted me going, 'If Keane gives the ball away and you don't scream at him I'm going to give you shit for the rest of your life.' But I tell you what, I didn't. Mind you, I don't think he gave the ball away."
Is he the best celebrity footballer out there? "Oh, that's a tricky question. I wouldn't like to say. [TV presenter] Jeff Brazier is still a good player," says Little. What about Alastair Campbell? "He's rubbish. I don't mind going on record and saying it: Alastair Campbell's rubbish. I've seen milk turn quicker than Alastair Campbell. He's like the QE2."
? The Cafe starts on Sky 1 on 23 November.
Source: http://www.guardian.co.uk/tv-and-radio/2011/nov/15/ralf-little-the-cafe-interview
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